Addressing Misconceptions About Counseling
Written by Dr. Pia Boben Fenimore
It is time to talk about therapy. When I recommend counseling there is often a simultaneous groan from both parent and child. I think that is because there are a lot of misconceptions out there about counseling and how it works.
Here are the most common concerns I hear about counseling:
It is hard to connect with the right kind of counselor
It is expensive
It does not work as well as medication
You must go all the time
As a parent, I will be excluded
Let’s address these misconceptions about counseling.
There is some truth to number one in that it takes time and commitment to build a relationship with a counselor. This can be expedited by doing some homework ahead of time. Consider calling and interviewing counselors beforehand to find someone with expertise in your child’s concerns or age range. There are counselors with specialties in LGBTQ concerns, art therapy, mutism, trauma, grief, and many more.
Once you have chosen a counselor, at the first session be very clear about what your goals are for your child. For example, for a child with separation anxiety, you might mention that you would like your child to be able to go to a friend’s house to sleep over. Ask your counselor to map out what to expect and if there will be “homework.”
Around 7% of children in PA do not have any mental health insurance coverage. While this number should be zero, it does indicate that most children should have coverage for counseling and other behavioral health interventions. Lancaster also has several organizations that offer free mental health services to those without coverage. Start by calling the number on the back of your insurance card and getting a good understanding of your child’s coverage and places that you can go. If you do not have coverage, reach out to your healthcare provider or school for advice on finding free services.
Counseling, especially cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), does work. In fact, for many mental health problems, it has been shown to work better than medication. Further, research suggests that medication is much more likely to help if used in conjunction with CBT. And there are no side effects to worry about! A child who receives counseling instead of medication is also more likely to acquire the skills needed to prevent other mental health problems in the future.
Research suggests that it takes about 12-20 counseling sessions to achieve remission of mental illness symptoms. However, most providers will tell you that a great deal can be achieved with 6-10 sessions. Once therapy is complete, it also can be helpful to have “booster” sessions as a check in during stressful times.
Counseling is most efficacious if there is parent involvement. Talk to your child and your counselor about how much you would like to be involved and listen to them about their desires for your involvement. If you have taken the time to set goals and outline a treatment plan, you are more likely to feel comfortable letting the counseling follow this pathway.
Younger children may need their parents to sit in on therapy sessions, especially if behavioral problems at home are being addressed. This is called Parent Child Interaction Therapy. Older children need more space to declare their own identities and take ownership of behaviors.
This would not be an entirely comprehensive coverage of counseling if I did not shine light on the current shortage of mental health professionals in our area. I know many parents who have tried to seek counseling for their children and have encountered long waitlists, provider changes, and lack of in-person options. These obstacles must be removed but should not be a reason to give up on counseling. We are making slow progress to address these issues both locally and globally. In the meantime, stay focused on the goal of helping your child in the most safe and efficacious way.
Jennifer McSparren Crystle, a Licensed Professional Counselor with an expertise in children, puts it this way: “If you are having difficulties with your eyesight, you go to the ophthalmologist. If you break your leg, you go to an orthopedist. No one questions or judges this. It should be the same regarding mental health issues. If you are struggling with your emotions, you go to a licensed professional counselor or therapist. No misguided stigma should be attached.”
A counselor who can address your child’s needs is worth your perseverance and patience. Reach out to your healthcare provider if you need help finding a counselor.
A Place to Start:
Read an article:
https://childmind.org/article/how-to-work-well-with-your-childs-therapist/
Visit a website:
https://effectivechildtherapy.org/about/
Read a book:
Parenting Toolbox by Phifer, Sibbald, and Rhoden
Read a book to your child:
I Am Enough by Grace Byers
Make a change:
Call the number on the back of your insurance card to understand your mental health benefits.
